The Lego Movie review

I feel quite safe in saying that any childhood memory of Legos is always positive. Everyone with an imagination and these colorful blocks literally build worlds, universes, crazy vehicles, people and awsome stories the likes of which would inspire, captivate, and bring joy for many. It is for this reason that I embarked to see the Lego Movie, despite my older age. I can assure you this, however: I was far from disappointed. Everything truly is awesome in this sure to become classic animated film in which the fun literally never stops. Comedy, romance, and enough action to satisfy lovers of literally any movie genera (there is even a western scene), this movie is sure to do anything but disapoint. Whilst I don’t want to spoil any parts, I will say that the movie is outstandingly funny, and is sure to make laugh people of all ages, guaranteed. In addition, it holds an outstanding voice cast which includes (but is not limited to): Morgan Freeman, Hugh Jackman, Charlie Day, Liam Neeson, and even Shaq! Whilst sporting such comedic dialog as you will be repeating all year, the movie’s story and morals will make you remember how you felt building that spaceship or skyscraper as a child. This film teaches us to not strive for uniformity, but to build with our hearts and not the instruction booklet. Everyone is special and can change the universe if you believe in yourself. This is why I fell in love with this movie, because its morals are not cliché and truly do inspire. If you want to fall in love with Legos all over again and have a few laughs along the way, this movie cannot be understated.

All in all, I give it a 9/10 for animated films and a solid 7/10 for all films. Go see this movie!

Until next time, I’m Edward Plaza; “And Theeerrres the Ball!”

Roofus the Rambunctious Rutabaga

Farmer Bard had a very amiable farm which resided in a quaint county at the zenith of a hill. This farm had been family owned for generations and had continuously remained quiet, tranquil, and pious. O and you would be staggered by the assortment of fine vegetables and critters that were raised here. Among the many acres lay a small patch, no more than 100 square cubits, where rutabagas are born. Some may ask the significance of clearly the most boring of roots to this peaceful little spot of Eden. Well if you quit your bitching, I’ll tell you. Twas a warm summer evening when Linda Rutabaga gave birth to Roofus, a queer fella even for a vegetable. In his younger days, he would play same as the other children folk, but he soon learned that he never quite fit in. You see, Roofus was…rambunctious, a quality never given to Rutabaga, at least not in this county. Quite exuberant and vulgar was the speech of Roofus. “Farmer damn It! Can a motherfucking veggie get a drop of booze once and a while!” he would say. Often he would run far from his safe patch and cause mischief with other plants, the worse of which were the Buddhist carrots. “Hey, ya orange dicks!” he would scream. “I got something for ya” and he would pelt them with mayonnaise and exclaim a statement such as they were ejaculating. Quite decrepit to say the least is all this mayhem as I’m sure you, my sophisticated audience, will agree. Now, despite these horrid undertakings, rutabagas are not the kind to abandon their kin, so they accepted Roofus, though most would not associate with him. “I’m now into interspecies sex” was one of Roofus’s claims one evening. “I wana fuck the farmer’s daughter!” This, of course, was a declaration of defiance to the farmer’s hand, and ye know that “thou shalt not muzzle the ox when he treadeth out the corn.” The rutabagas had no choice but to cast out Roofus and let him be, but the audacity, the ignorance of the kindred people would leave Roofus in quite a state. He took it to himself to make a score with Laudia, the farmer’s daughter. Our rotund deviant thus snuck into Laudia’s bedroom one night and set his eyes on the lass and moved his vines slowly and deviously into Laudia’s purse and snatched her prized pink flower and made off in the night. With this flower, he pollinated so hard that bees everywhere would have quite an arduous vocation about them. Wait…are you saying that you assumed Roofus was going to undergo coitus with Laudia? Don’t be absurd! Roofus is a plant and therefore has no penis so how on Earth did you imagine that would happen? I mean really, grow up! Anyway, in our present temporal state, whilst you as well as I lay comfortable by the fireplace sipping our brandy and wiping our monocles, Roofus undertook the dainty career of “futon salesman” and happens to own the second largest futon distributor in Alexander County, NC. Well, now you know of the plight of Roofus and hopefully you learned something too.

Until next time, I’m Edward Plaza; “And Theeerrres the Ball!”